The doctor’s eyes sparkled as his grin spread wide, "You are very pregnant. Congratulations!"
Shock paralyzed me. No joy. No sorrow. Just fear, dread, and… a spark of hope? I couldn’t fathom what God was up to.
“Trust Me! For my ways are higher than your ways.”
I want to, Lord.
The sparkle in the doctor’s eyes dimmed, “Well, I’m excited.”
I gave him an exhausted smile, “Thanks. I will be. I’m just in shock right now.”
He didn’t know what darkness filled my life.
- Job loss loomed large.
- My tattered health dangled me over the grave.
- My family was coming apart at the seams.
- Desperation clawed at me.
- How would having a fourth child help?
Deciding he needed a special name, I took down my New Testament Hebrew dictionary. My eyes skimmed the pages when one word jumped out at me: “Garrison.” Though a garrison is a fort placed in a strategic location for supplying troops for the protection of the defenseless, the Hebrew dictionary simply said "placed."
My breath caught. God’s spirit touched my heart and that tiny spark of hope ignited into a tenuous flame. I knew in that moment God had placed this baby in my life at this particular time for a special purpose. He would work everything out for my good and His glory. Though the darkness in my life had not lifted, I could trust God. He would deliver me.
In the time it took to carry and deliver Garrison, God began to heal my family, provide for our financial needs and improve my health.
Though trials of life continue to come, the darkness that once engulfed my soul has lifted. God’s ocean of grace carries me through every moment – good and bad.
And as God reminded me the day I learned Garrison was on his way: “…My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV)
Now, when I start questioning God’s wisdom, I look to the miracle of my fourth son. He is my constant reminder that no matter what happens in life, God knows what is best. When God brings an unexpected twist into my life, I remind myself that He’s in control - and that’s a good thing.
“The LORD is my rock and my fortress [my garrison] and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” Psalm 18:2 (ESV)
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