On this beautiful February morning in 2005, my son and I had gone to the park to enjoy the unseasonably warm weather. There couldn’t have been a more beautiful day, if we had orchestrated it ourselves. The birds sang, children laughed and played, and the wind blew gently around us. Still reveling in sunshine and fresh air, we arrived home to this.
My hand shook as I dialed numbers and listened to the answering machine at the same time. Cryptic messages from voices deliberately calm asked me to return their call. When I got hold of my younger sister, she delivered the news I’d dreaded receiving for the last twenty years. My older sister Michelle had taken her life.
Michelle had battled mental illness all of her adult life with varying diagnoses. The labels which seemed to stick were schizophrenia and major depression. She had survived many suicide attempts but not this day.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4
Words can’t describe the valley I walked through during Michelle’s funeral and for months afterwards. The only thing that got me through was God’s hand directing me. Though the rod and shepherd’s staff represent power, they also symbolize comfort and guidance. The most important word in Ps. 23:4 is “through,” because with God’s help, I got through the valley.
I can testify to the fact that God’s comfort guided me through this very dark period in my life.
Life is never the same after tragedy, but growth comes from it. Warm, sunny days in February bring back dark feelings, but the empathy God instilled in me for those suffering grew after my sister’s death. Because of trials, we are able to relate to others on a deeper level.
What valley are you walking in today? God’s hand comforts even through the darkest of times.
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Thankful for the comfort of God!
Well, God is certainly speaking to me today. Two separate conversations this morning and this post about mental illnes and spiritual warfare... Okay God, I'm listening.
ReplyDeleteGod is good! I'm glad you heard His voice through this devotion. He'll give you the strength and comfort you need to face your trial.
DeleteMy daughter's death was my darkest days yet still I felt God's comfort. I don't think I've thought about the growth from it. You're right though -- is is a growth time. Learning about deep heart pain yet seeing God's love throughout the days. I honestly think I wouldn't have made it through that first year without God's arms surrounding me.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your daughter's death. God's comfort is amazing on the darkest days. I'm glad you found solace in His arms.
DeleteMy health challenges are pretty overwhelming but God brings me through it with His words and the strength He gives each day! God uses our trials to open our soul I think! Greetings from the Philippines! Patsy.paterno (at) gmail.com from
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You're right, Patsy. God's strength is a great comfort during our trials. God bless you.
Deletei have known God's comfort during my late husband's illness and death. the peace beyond understanding is something you won't be able to experience during peaceful and joyful times. Praise God. He is always faithful.
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing,
hugs, peggy aplSEEDS
I'm sorry for your loss. I praise God with you for the peace He gave you during that difficult time. I agree that His peace is often greater in the midst of a trial. God gless you.
DeleteIt's my faith in God and His love and comfort of me that has helped me walk through a major storm. While I'm not all the way through it, I know I would not have made it this far without Him.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you discovered, as I did, God's comfort through your storm. His love makes a tremendous difference on those bad days. God bless you as you continue your journey.
DeleteHow sad that your sister was successful. Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing her story. I have tasted the comfort only God can give. And yet, satan is such a tormentor.
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